Dumgoyne is a pointy hill north of Glasgow at the end of the Campsie Fells. You can see it from the higher levels of the library. It’s also a classic day out, far enough away to feel like an adventure, close enough to get home in time for tea. What’s more, you’ll get some free whisky for your trouble – the Dumgoyne happens to be the home of the Glengoyne Distillery.
There’s two ways of getting there. You could take the bus straight to the distillery. But if you’re really hardcore, and we know you are, you can make a day of it and take the path from the nearest village two miles away. Let’s make a day of it.
Go down to Buchanan Bus Station, or Maryhill Road, and catch the #10 to Blanefield (hourly Mon–Sat, every two hours Sun). It takes 35 minutes, and before you know it, you’re in pure Scottish countryside, where you’re more likely to see a Lady on a horse than a lady in a fake tan.
Just beyond the tiny village of Strathblane, you’re in the even-tinier village of Blanefield; get off at St Kessog’s Church and start walking uphill on Campsie Dene Road. Pass the mansions that you’ll never see the inside of, until you hit the last farmhouse – Cantywheery – and take the kissing gate to the right. From here, just follow the path across a burn until you see a big hill in front of you. Don’t climb that one, silly. This first hill is not Dumgoyne but Dumfoyne, a rocky little practical joke nature’s playing on you. Skirting Dumfoyne, you’ll eventually see a big, scary cliff. That’s where you’re headed.
The climb to the summit is mercifully short but steep, so wear decent shoes. You may be out of breath by the time you reach the top, but try to save some for when you check out the view. In one direction, Loch Lomond and the Highlands; in the other, Glasgow in all its sprawl.
Tumble down the hill and cross a stile to get what you’ve earned. No matter what day of the week it is, you can take a tour of the Glengoyne Distillery every hour for £5. Their smokeless 10 year-old malt is as smooth as whisky gets, and their 17 year-old was once named “Best of the Best” by Whisky Magazine. Chill out with your dram on a couch overlooking the waterfall.
What a nice day you’ve had. You can walk the 2 miles back to Strathblane for the nearest pub, or grab some tea and a scone at Blanefield’s tearoom. Otherwise, just stick your thumb out and catch the #10 back to your place, and slap yourself on the back for being such a master daytripper. Then celebrate by sitting in front of the DVD player all night.